When Gaining Love Means Gaining Weight

Do you tend to find your weight increases when you enter into a relationship? During weight management coaching, I use a tool called the "lifeline" to help my client and I understand what life events occurred around the time of gaining and losing weight. As my own experiences testify, I have found that many of us tend to put on weight when we enter into a relationship. Though each person's issues are unique here are a few examples of where those extra pounds might be coming from:

Conflict: There is nothing like relationships to fuel the fires of our emotions! If we find it difficult to assert our feelings, avoid or withdraw, eating can become a way to cope with our feelings.

Self-esteem: Sometimes we feel unconfident about our position in the relationship, or have self-hating thoughts and turn to food to cope.

Lifestyle: Choosing to spend more time snuggled up in front of the television with our loved one can often take the place of activities we were once involved in!

Dietary Habits: So our partner likes fried food better than our grilled options? A change in eating habits to accommodate our loved one can pile on the pounds too!

Alcohol: Eating out or staying in with those extra bottles of wines add on the calories too!

Socializing: He's taking you out but those extra creamy sauces, salty fries, and fried fish all add to the energy input!

Contentment: You found your match and you are just happy be out of the dating game, its time to swap the high heels for comfy slippers, but out comes the box of chocolates to add to the happiness watching your favorite movie together!

So, if gaining love has meant gaining weight, what can we do to make the changes we want? Managing relationships is an important part of managing weight so learning new life skills is vital. You can begin making changes by:

Enlisting Support: Ask you partner to support you, tell him about your struggles and what are the best ways he can help. Maybe, flowers instead of chocolates, bike riding instead of the restaurant?. You decide!

Managing Emotions: If you reach for the cookie jar before or after conflict, learning assertiveness, expressing emotions and conflict resolution skills will give you the tools to manage conflict, speak about what is bothering you and avoid a trip to the fridge!

Increasing activity Getting active is about learning new habits. Rather than setting a goal on your first week to attend the gym 5 days per week, set smaller achievable goals such as parking the car a couple of blocks from work, using the stairs instead of the elevator, using your lunch break for a brisk 10 minute walk etc.

Small food changes: Think in terms of healthier choices rather than eating very little to lose weight. For example, grilling instead of frying, fruit, nuts and dried fruit, instead of chips/crisps and chocolate etc.

Increase self-esteem: Find your worth outside of a relationship and develop your confidence in your abilities and talents will also help you manage your food intake.

by Joanne Robinson of www.donnaintera.net

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